Feeling Like this I Just Can't Go On
by Halawen
Summary: Clare was ecstatic when when mom married Asher Shostak. But will having her journalistic idol as her stepfather be a dream come true or a nightmare? Maybe new Ice Hounds captain Mike Dallas is someone she can trust. Please read A/Ns. This story will be intense at times but will have fluff as well. Also feat. Owen, Adam, Drew, Bianca and Eli.
1. Sittin' on a Bomb that's about to Explod

**Welcome to the new short story! Things are still super busy and it's a fairly short chapter.**

 **Legal: I own nothing but the idea.**

 **Important things to know before reading:**

 ***Begins about a week after the Ice Hounds arrive**

 ***Drew and Bianca are back together**

 ***Owen is dating Paige**

 ***Adam is dating Jenna**

 ***Helen and Glen never dated but Clare did date Jake for a while**

 ***Clare did not kiss Eli before break he is dating a girl who attends U of T**

 ***Clare and Eli are friends again**

 ***Drew did not sleep with Katie or get drunk and hit his head and did not drop out**

 ***Helen and Asher began dating shortly after Eli crashed his car**

 ***Asher has never been married**

 ***Dallas is not a father in this story**

 ***Luke moved alone and he's billeted with a family, his family stayed in Florida**

 **WARNING! This story will be intense at moments and deals with molestation and incest**

 **Ch. 1 Sittin' on a Bomb that's about to Explode**

 **(CLARE)**

 _Creeeaak_ the sound of my door opening wakes me before my alarm. I turn over and look to my doorway but it's already closing again. I assume it was my mom getting ready to tell me that it was time to get up for school but changed her mind I guess. Well I'm awake now and my alarm is set to go off in a few minutes. I sit up and turn the alarm off so it won't chime and go out to use my washroom. When I come out of the washroom I bump straight into my new stepfather and he catches me by the arms.

"Oops sorry Asher still got a little sleep in my eyes I guess," I apologize.

"That's alright Clare I was reading a work e-mail on my phone and was not paying attention to where I was going. It was entirely my fault," he apologizes back with a smile.

When my mom began dating last year I wasn't exactly thrilled, especially since it was coming on the heels of everything I'd been through with Eli, everything which culminated in Eli crashing his car. However when Mom brought Asher Shostak home I was thrilled. Asher had been my journalistic idol since I'd decided I wanted to be a journalist. I read everything he wrote, I especially loved the way he often lulled his interview subjects into a false sense of security before hitting them with a question that would throw them totally off, and usually make them stumble into revealing something they didn't want to. He was also very good at asking questions he wasn't supposed to by not really asking the question.

Asher was happy to cultivate my love of journalism and gave me tips about articles for the school paper and even just school reports. He even convinced Mr. Simpson to let me get school credit if I helped Asher with articles by fact checking. It was nice to keep busy especially since I wasn't exactly on speaking terms with Eli at the time. I did start dating Jake, we dated for a few months before an epic fight at prom led to a breakup and then Adam was shot. At least Eli and I made amends and became friends again while we were at the hospital with Adam. I spent a lot of time at the Torres house over the summer with Adam while he was injured. Asher proposed to my mom while they were on vacation last summer and I was happy for them both. I like Asher he's good to my mom and it doesn't hurt to have your idol living in your house.

They got married in a small ceremony at our church on December 30th and they've been away on their honeymoon until last night when they got back. I was on my own for the two weeks they were gone and school started again last week. Dad was supposed to be checking in on me but he didn't, Audra Torres did however. I even spent a couple nights at the Torres house before Mike Dallas moved in. I met him before school was back in session because I was at the Torres house the day Dallas moved in. He seems nice enough but he also seems like a typical jock, which explains why he gets along with Owen and Drew so well.

"Guess we both need to pay more attention. I should get dressed I need to get to school," I comment to Asher.

"I can give you a ride if you'd like, it snowed again last night," Asher offers.

"Okay thanks I'll be ready in about fifteen minutes," I reply and go into my room. After dressing in a long sleeve dress with tights and boots I go into the washroom to finish getting ready and grab my backpack and coat before going downstairs. "I'm ready to go," I tell Asher.

"What about breakfast?" Mom asks.

"I'll grab something at school."

"Let's go I need to get into the office," Asher says.

I wave to Mom and get into Asher's car with him. When he reaches for the gearshift he touches my knee, he gives me an apologetic and embarrassed look. I just move my knee away I guess it was a little close to the gearshift.

"Did you do anything wild while we were gone?" Asher asks in a sardonic tone and I chuckle lightly.

"No parties or anything wild. I spent a couple of nights at Adam's house. Audra insisted on it because my dad never did check in on me."

"You don't see your dad much do you? Did you have a good relationship with him before?" Asher questions.

"Yeah I guess, he worked a lot but he would take me and Darcy skiing every winter. It's about the only bonding we did," I reply.

"Such a shame," Asher comments just as we pull up to DeGrassi and then reaches over stroking my cheek with the back of one finger, "a father should be close to his daughter."

I'm a little disturbed, not so much by the comment itself but by the fact that he stroked my cheek during the comment. He's just giving me a kind smile now and I shake it off as my new stepfather getting to know me and maybe hinting at the fact that he'll be my father figure now.

"Yeah well thanks for the ride Asher I'll see you at home," I reply getting out of his car.

Asher waves and drives off and I walk into school. I walk to my locker and open it putting away my books and getting out others. While I rationalized Asher's last comment and action in the car is still on my mind and I barely hear Adam when he says hello.

"Hi Clare. Clare?" Adam says touching my arm when I don't respond. I close my locker and look at him; he's standing with Dallas who smiles at me.

"Sorry just spacing out, hey Adam, hi Dallas."

"Are you okay?" Adam questions.

"Yeah I'm fine," I nod as Dallas walks away to join Luke and some of the other Ice Hounds.

"How was your mom's honeymoon?" Adam questions opening his own locker.

"They said they had a good time," I reply and then Eli comes around the corner.

"Hey I'm going to do another play this semester you guys want to help?" Eli asks.

"Yeah I'll help a little but I'm still editor of the school paper which keeps me fairly busy. I will write you a killer article though. So what play are you going to do?" I inquire.

"Death of a Salesman a modern retelling," Eli grins.

"Sounds good," I smile.

"Just don't go burning the script on stage," Adam teases and Eli grimaces at him.

The three of us hang out until the bell and then walk to our broadcast and print production class and print production class together since we all have it as our homeroom. Dave is here at his desk and he grins at us. Adam sits at his desk next to Dave, me next to Adam and Eli next to me. Nothing much happens in homeroom, actually nothing much happens all day. Eli got permission to do his play and spends lunch putting up signup sheets. I eat lunch with Adam, Jenna, Alli, Dave and Connor. When school ends I go to the DeGrassi Daily office to begin the meeting. It takes a couple of hours before I call the meeting to an end and tell every to go home.

It snowed a little again but Eli is just leaving the auditorium and he gives me a ride home. I thank him for the ride and get out of the car, going into the house just as mom is putting dinner on the table. Nothing really happens at dinner, we make small talk over dinner about our days, after dinner they clean up and I go up to my room to do homework. After three hours of homework and an hour of writing an article for tomorrow's paper I take a shower and get ready for bed. When I go downstairs to get a glass of water I find Asher in the kitchen, I thought he'd gone to bed but he's having a drink. He stayed over a lot while he and Mom were dating and often had a drink before going to bed so it's something I'm used to seeing.

"Those look very nice on you," Asher grins commenting on the pajamas my aunt sent me for Christmas.

"Umm thanks, I just came down for some water," I tell him and make a mental note to always wear my robe outside of my room.

Asher just smiles and I grab a water bottle running back up to my room. I stay awake on my laptop for a while before I feel tired enough to fall asleep. Just as I'm turning off my laptop Asher opens my door.

"I really like the way that pajama top shows off your big sumptuous breasts," Asher comments. His words slur slightly and I can tell he's drunk but his inappropriate comment makes my cheeks go red.

"I think you should get out now," I demand pointing to my door.

"Night Clare," Asher smiles and leaves my room.

" _He was drunk and he's never been a father or anything so he just doesn't know boundaries yet,"_ I try to convince myself. It doesn't entirely work and I decide I don't want to sleep here. I get dressed again, dressing very warmly and grab my backpack leaving the house quietly. Despite all the snow I run all the way to Adam's house.

 **(DALLAS)**

I was staring at my homework for my families in Canada class, it was the last homework I had and it was rather boring and was putting me to sleep. Actually my eyes were starting to close when I heard the upstairs kitchen door open, the outside door. I know all of the Torres family is home so no one should be coming in through that door right now. I grab Drew's baseball bat and quietly go up the stairs opening the interior door and opening it slowly. I turn on the light surprising Clare, she gasps and her eyes open wide like a deer in the headlights. Then she bites her lip and looks worried and apologetic for being here.

"What are you doing here so late?" I ask putting down the baseball bat. "How'd you even get in that door is always locked."

"I needed a place to sleep and I've known more than one juvenile delinquent a locked door won't stop me," she remarks and I grin at the fact that she can pick locks.

"You're safe here; the sofa downstairs is more comfortable than this one. We should go down there before Audra wakes up though she's a light sleeper," I tell Clare and she gives me a grateful smile. I let her go down the stairs first and turn off the kitchen light. I grab her a pillow and blanket from the closet and she takes them to the sofa. "You need anything else?" I ask as she starts making up a bed on the sofa.

"No I'm fine thanks Dallas," she replies.

"No problem, I have to finish a little homework let me know if the light bothers you," I tell her.

"No it's fine, do you mind if I watch a little TV? I need a distraction," she says in a quiet voice.

"Yeah no problem," I nod.

She grabs the remote and turns on the TV and I go back behind the curtain to my room. I finish my homework and go out to use the washroom, when I get out I check on Clare and she's asleep so I turn off the TV. I knew something was wrong or Clare wouldn't have come here through the snow in the middle of the night if everything was fine. At least she's asleep now and hopefully whatever is wrong doesn't invade her dreams. I go to bed and fall asleep pretty quickly, waking up again when I hear Clare go into the washroom down here. I open my curtain and Clare comes out of the washroom dressed and ready for school.

"You're leaving awfully early," I remark.

"Yeah I need to get to school; can you do me a favor and just not tell Adam or any other member of the Torres family that I was here please?" She requests.

"No problem you're secret is safe with me," I reply and she smiles. "Are you sure you want to go out in the snow at such an early hour?"

"I'll be okay it's just a couple blocks to The Dot," she says.

I nod and she grabs her backpack before leaving through the sliding glass door. I put the pillow and blanket she used back in the closet. I'm awake now so I shower and get dressed. When I go up to the kitchen Omar and Audra are up and making breakfast. I eat with them but don't say anything about Clare being here last night. Drew and Adam come down while we're eating and when we're all ready for school Audra drives us.

"So Clare's your best friend right?" I ask Adam as we all walk into school and both Torres brothers give me the same look.

"Yeah," Adam says slowly, "her and Eli why?"

"Just curious," I shrug and leave them to go to my team.

I see Clare in school but she's happy, or at least putting on a wonderful façade of being happy. She gives a couple smiles as we pass each other in the halls but we don't say hi or anything. After school I have practice and Clare has her newspaper staff meeting.

"Hey you know Clare right?" I ask Owen.

"No, I know of her. I think I've said hey to her once or twice but we're not friends or anything. She's best friends with Adam, I'm close friends with Bianca who's dating Drew and I'm friends with him. One of my best friends has a major crush on her last year, Fitz he works at The Dot you've seen him. Why? Do you have a major crush on her now?" Owen inquires.

"No she came over in the middle of the night last night and said she needed a place to sleep. Just wondering what she might be running from," I reply. I promised not to tell the Torres family that she was over last night I said nothing about Owen.

"No idea you should ask Adam he's her best friend," Owen says.

"Yeah and he thinks I like her since I asked if he was her best friend," I respond and Owen laughs.

Practice is pretty brutal, our first game is coming up and coach is working us hard. Own drops me at my billet house after practice and I come in just in time for dinner. Adam talks about Eli's play; Drew talks about plans with Bianca this weekend and that he wants to get a part time job. I talk about practice and how the team is getting along and the upcoming game. Omar and Audra talk about their jobs and after dinner Adam, Drew and I help clean up. I go downstairs and start on my homework, Drew still has a lot of his homework and so does Adam. Drew gets stuck on math homework which Adam helps him with.

"What's Clare's family like?" I ask Drew when Adam has finished his homework and gone upstairs.

"I don't really know, her parents divorced, I don't think she sees her dad much. Her mom just remarried and I know she was real excited her mom was dating some journalist. Adam said she's got an older sister but she's in some other country, Africa or India or something. Why? You doin' a background check on Clare or something?" Drew inquires.

"Just wondering. I mean if her parents go away and leave her for two weeks again we could have an epic party at her house."

"Yeah I'm sure Clare would allow that," Drew responds with a deeply sarcastic tone.

We finish our homework and Drew goes up to bed. I start to get ready for bed, stripping down to my boxers and an undershirt but before I brush my teeth I hear a knock on the sliding glass door. I go over and pull back the curtain to see Clare standing there and I unlock the door and open it.

"Need a place to sleep?" I ask her.

"Do you mind?" She asks timidly.

"Not one bit you're welcome here," I reply closing and locking the basement door again.

"Thanks," she says softly.

I smile at get the blanket and pillow again and set them on the sofa for her. She goes into the washroom to brush her teeth and I go in after her. When I come out again she's lying on the sofa watching TV.

"Do you need anything?" I ask Clare and she shakes her head. "Wake me up if you need anything, goodnight Clare."

"Goodnight Dallas," she replies in a quiet voice with a soft smile.

I smile back and go behind the curtain wondering how many nights she's going to sneak over here. And wondering how long before she tells someone what's going on.

 **The update on Wednesday, March 16** **th** **will likely begin in Clare's pov and include more of Asher as well as Dallas getting closer to the truth.**


	2. Runaway but it Always Seems the Same

**Cleaning is done at the old house and things will start to calm down again. Still have to unpack at the new house but no hurry for that. This week might still be a little hectic this week but should be calm and back to normal by this weekend.**

 **This chapter contains possible trigger warnings but there isn't anything intense in this chapter.**

 **Ch. 2 Runaway but it Always Seems the Same**

 **(CLARE)**

"Clare it's time to go," Mom calls me down on Sunday morning to go to church.

"What a lovely dress Clare," Asher grins, "it truly brings out your eyes. It's a very striking color on you, very flattering and alluring."

"Clare what do you say when someone pays you a compliment?" Mom snaps at me slightly when I don't respond.

"Thank you Asher," I reply through clenched teeth and they both smile.

For the first few days after their return Asher's advances were subtle and I kept telling myself it didn't mean anything. I rationalized that it was simply Asher adjusting to being a stepfather. Even with these rationalizations I didn't feel safe in my own house at night, nearly every night this week I'd snuck over to Adam's, only Adam had no idea I was there. I would knock on the sliding glass door and Dallas would let me in. After the first couple of nights he kept the bedding for the sofa out in his room and had it ready when I showed up. He never asked any questions just told me I was safe and he was there if I needed anything. Friday night I stopped being able to rationalize Asher's behavior as he waited for me to get out of the shower and told me that my mom wasn't enough woman to satisfy his needs. I went back into the washroom, locked the door and stayed there most of the night. Yesterday we spent the day together as a family at Mom's insistence. We went to a movie, walked through downtown and had dinner out. Asher was somewhat behaved but I caught him looking at me quite a bit.

"We should say hello to Pastor Cliff and his wife," Mom says to Asher as he parks at the church.

"Yes good idea Honey," Asher nods and he gets out of the car. I get out of the car and walk around to my mom's side but when I go near her and not Asher he moves her and now he's standing next to me. We walk a few steps and then Asher puts his hand on my shoulder right at the nape of my neck and a chill goes down my spine. I want to get away from him and when I see one of the new hockey players from DeGrassi here I see my exit.

"That's one of my friends from school excuse me," I say getting out of Asher's grip and walking quickly to the hockey player with the wheat colored hair. Now if only I could remember his name. "Hi uh…you're on the Ice Hounds right with Dallas and Owen? We have physics together," I comment awkwardly as I go up to him and interrupt his conversation with one of the elderly church ladies. Mrs. Grazer smiles politely and excuses herself.

"Yeah I'm Luke Baker," he says looking me over with an arched eyebrow although the way I barged over I can't really blame him.

"Clare Edwards," I smile politely glancing over my shoulder to see where Asher is. He and my mom are talking to the pastor and his wife but Asher glances at me and I look away.

"Are you okay?" Luke inquires looking over my shoulder to see what I looked away from.

"Yeah fine," I nod.

"Are those your parents?"

"My mom and new stepdad," I reply but even admitting Asher is my stepdad now puts a rotten taste in my mouth.

"Not getting along?" Luke queries.

"So where'd you move from?" I ask and avoid his question by asking one of my own.

"Florida, a little town called Orange Tree where my dad is the town pastor. It was hard to leave them we're a close family. They even considered coming with me but it wouldn't have been right to uproot the whole family when I would be back in the summer and may not come back next year. My sister has her whole life in Florida and hated the idea of moving. I got billeted with a nice family though; Christian like me which is nice."

"Oh yeah who are you billeted with? Dallas is billeted with my best friend Adam," I babble slightly nervously when I see a shadow approaching and I just know it's Asher.

"I'm staying with the Berishes," Luke says and I tense up as Asher gets closer.

"Berish? Oh Liam! Yeah Liam's great he's on the school paper with me. I'm the editor you know," I remark babbling nervously again and then jumping slightly when I feel Asher's hand on my back.

"Clare we should get seats," Asher tells me with a voice that's slightly stern and I swear I hear an inflection of possessiveness in it.

"Actually Clare was going to help us in the daycare this morning," Luke speaks up and I give him a grateful smile.

"Clare never volunteered for the daycare before. But the other volunteers aren't usually as cute as you," Mom comments giving Luke a wink and my cheeks flush red with embarrassment.

"Luke's new I'm helping him get oriented," I reply and Luke puts his hand on my shoulder escorting me into the church and down to the daycare.

"Hey Clare," Liam smiles at me.

"Clare's going to help us," Luke tells him.

"Good because Mrs. Clarke brought her twins," Liam comments handing me one of the squirming four month old twins.

"So you guys work on the school paper together?" Luke asks.

"Yeah Clare's the editor and she's a much better editor than Katie," Liam says.

"He's only saying that because I kissed him once," I reply and Liam laughs.

There isn't much time for talking or more questions after that because we're kept busy taking care of and entertaining eight kids ages two months to four years. When church lets out parents begin coming down to claim their kids and Asher comes down to get me.

"Come Clare we're going to brunch," Asher informs me.

"Actually Sir part of daycare duties is cleaning afterward, Clare has to stay around but don't worry we'll make sure she gets home safe," Luke asserts.

"I guess we'll see you at home then," Asher comments slowly. He eyes Liam and Luke for a second but when Luke gives him a look Asher smiles and leaves.

When Asher's gone I give Luke an appreciative smile before we start cleaning up. With three of us it doesn't take very long, there really wasn't that much of a mess to begin with.

"So I guess we're giving you a ride home?" Liam asks.

"No that's okay I think I'll just go to Ali's house, she lives just up the street. I'll see you guys at school tomorrow," I reply and wave to them.

When I get to Ali's Mrs. Bhandari tells me she and Jenna are out with Dave and Adam. I could easily text any of them to find out where they are and join them but then I become a 5th wheel and I don't want to do that. I don't want to go home either so I go to The Dot instead. Fitz isn't working but he doesn't usually work Sunday's he's usually doing things at his own church. I sit and drink a coffee while playing on my phone until Mom sends a text that I should be done by now and be home to do chores. With a heavy sigh I leave The Dot and make the short walk home, it's less than half a block but my steps are slow and heavy as I trudge through the snow with immense reluctance. Of course I eventually make it home and have to come through the front door. Just as I'm hanging my coat in the hall Asher comes over.

"That took a long time," he comments.

"Liam and I were talking about the school paper," I respond and walk past him, "I have chores to do."

It only takes me about an hour to do my chores but while cleaning my washroom I can hear Asher and my mom flirting, or possibly more, in their room. When chores are done I'm able to retreat to the relative comfort of my room, at least until dinner time. Mom calls me down to dinner and I sit at my spot at the round table. Mom talks for a while about the sermon today and what I missed while I was watching the young kids.

"How was the daycare center with the cute boy?" Mom questions.

"It was fine, Luke is nice and I spent a lot of time with Liam talking about the school paper."

"I don't remember seeing Luke at church before," Mom comments.

"He just moved from Florida, he's part of the new hockey team. The captain is billeted with Adam."

Mom starts talking about some of the other church families and I just sort of zone out and eat my dinner. Mom asks me to help clean up after dinner and I start washing dishes while she puts away the food. Asher starts drying the pans as I put them in the dishrack.

"You know that top really shows off your breasts," Asher comments. He doesn't even keep his voice down it was a comment within earshot of my mom and she is totally unfazed! She doesn't look over and doesn't say a thing just keeps going about her cleanup. I don't know what to say or do, I can't believe my mom didn't say anything or react to his comment and I'm too stunned to react so I just keep cleaning. I finish the dishes and start wiping down the sink and Asher comes over standing right next to me, not quite touching but very nearly. "I think you dress like that because you want me to touch you," Asher comments only lowering his voice a little but I still think it was loud enough for my mom to hear. His comment makes me feel so ill I nearly vomit in the sink.

"Mom," I call to her expecting her to do or say something.

"What is it Clare?" Mom asks looking at me with all the innocence and ignorance of a newborn fawn. I can't decide if she's just ignoring it all or she truly didn't hear him. Either way I want to get away from Asher.

"Dinner isn't sitting well I'm feeling nauseas I'm going to go lie down."

"Alright Dear let us know if you need anything," Mom says and I nod before going upstairs.

I go into my room and lock the door lying on my bed. Asher's blatant comments and Mom's either ignorance or ignoring is getting to me. I put on headphones and listen to music on my laptop while reading one of my favorite books and doing everything I can to get my mind off Asher. Mom checks on me just before going to bed and I tell her I'm feeling better, she scolds me for locking my door but I lock it again as soon as she's gone. As soon as I hear their bedroom door close I pack what I need for school tomorrow and sneak out my window. I took a sweater but not wanting to leave my room didn't have time to grab my coat and it's snowing again, I start to shiver in the cold as I speed up to get to Adam's and away from my house as fast as I can.

 **(DALLAS)**

It's not even eleven when I hear Clare knocking on the sliding glass door. Had she come just a few minutes earlier she would have been knocking when the brothers were still downstairs. I go over and unlock the door to let her in; she comes in shivering and without a jacket.

"Where's your coat?" I ask as I lock the door and run over to get her a blanket. She doesn't answer just curls up on the sofa wrapping herself in the blanket. She's still shivering a little so I grab her another blanket from my bed. I turn on the TV and we watch silently for a while. "Don't your parents notice that you're gone in the morning?" I ask her after a while.

"I told my mom I had very early staff meetings for The DeGrassi Daily. Even with the meetings after school I still get home before her, and usually before my stepfather," she replies quietly.

We go back to silently watching TV, after about an hour I look over and see that she's asleep. I go to bed and let her sleep but I'm woken when her alarm sounds the next morning. She gets up and starts to leave but she still doesn't have a jacket.

"Wait," I tell her and grab my leather jacket from the closet taking it out to her, "here it's still cold outside."

"Thanks," she smiles taking the jacket and putting it on.

"It's a little big on you but at least it's warm. Where's your phone?" I ask and she swings her backpack around to get her phone out. I have her put in the password and then I put in my cell phone number. "No more walking in the snow if you need to sleep here call me and I'll come get you, I can take the car without them noticing."

Clare's lips curl into a large smile that lights up her face and makes her eyes sparkle. Her smile makes me smile. Clare puts her phone back and leaves through the sliding glass door. I've been waking up with her and just going up for breakfast just about every day last week; pretty sure Audra and Omar think I'm an early riser by habit.

Audra drops me off at school with Adam and Drew after we've all eaten and gotten ready. Adam sees his girlfriend as soon as we walk into the foyer and he leaves us to go be with her. Drew and I start walking to our lockers when Owen walks up and hands me my leather jacket.

"Here's your jacket thanks for letting me borrow it," he says although I let Clare borrow it not him. At least he didn't say I let Clare borrow it in front of Drew.

"No problem," I nod taking the jacket.

"Yeah so uh about that new play we did at practice I had some thoughts on it," Owen says putting his hand on my shoulder and directing me away from Drew.

"Okay let's talk about it," I nod. We go down the hallway and turn the corner and when we're away from Drew and Owen is sure of it he looks at me.

"Alright so why did Clare give me your jacket this morning and ask me to give it back to you. And why did she order me not to tell Adam or even Drew that she had your jacket? Wait are you sleeping with her?" Owen questions.

"No I just leant her the jacket," I reply not wanting to tell him she's been sneaking over every night to sleep on the sofa.

"And she doesn't want Drew and Adam to know because why?" Owen asks but before I can think of an answer Luke walks over.

"Hey you guys know Clare Edwards right?" Luke asks.

"Funny we were just talking about her. Why do you ask? Wait don't tell me you like her?" Owen comments.

"No I barely know her but I go to the same church as she does. She came with her parents but her stepdad seemed to be making her nervous," Luke informs us and I feel my stomach drop with a bad feeling.

"Drew said she was excited about her stepdad because he's some journalist," I tell them.

"Yeah well she bolted over to me and started a conversation and when her stepdad walked over she got real stiff and nervous. She didn't want to go with them and was really grateful when I made excuses so she could stay with me and my billet brother. She wouldn't talk about her stepdad either, when I asked about it she didn't answer and instead asked me where I was from. Her stepdad was kind of creepy, he seemed nice enough I guess but he was glaring at me and looking at Clare rather possessively. And she looked kind of ill when he put his hand on her back."

"Shit," I exclaim as a horrible realization hits me.

"Shit what?" Owen questions.

"I think her stepdad might be molesting her," I sigh.

"Her stepdad was a little creepy but I don't think…" Luke begins but I shake my head leaning against the bank of lockers.

"That's not the only reason I think that, pretty much every night since last Monday she's been sneaking over to sleep at our place. She comes after Adam goes to bed and knocks on the sliding glass door, I always let her in and tell her she's safe but she doesn't want to talk so I never ask. She doesn't want Adam or Drew to know she's been sleeping over. I figured things were bad at home but never thought…" I stop talking as the words just don't want to leave my mouth again. "She was at our house last night, she came without a jacket so I gave her my leather one to wear this morning," I tell them after a moment.

"She was wearing a coat when she gave me your jacket so she must have gone home. But that does explain her insistence to not tell Adam or even Drew that she had your jacket," Owen remarks.

"Guys if her stepfather is molesting her we need to do something," Luke comments.

"Yeah but we should probably find out if her stepdad is molesting her before we do or say anything," Owen points out.

"She won't talk; she won't even tell me why she's sleeping over so how do we find out?" I sigh.

"We confront her somewhere she feels safe. I have an idea," Owen says and begins walking so we follow him. He goes around a few hallways before seeing Clare with her friends including Adam. My billet brother gives the three of us a look when we march over. "Hey Clare," Owen calls to her and she looks at us with her eyebrows furrowed.

"Yes?"

"You're editor of the school paper right?" Owen asks.

"Yes," she says slowly.

"We were thinking the Ice Hounds deserve an article in the paper, a feature article," Owen tells her and I understand what he's doing.

"Yeah you should come to practice after school, after your newspaper meeting, and we'll give you a great article," I add and Clare smiles a little.

"Sure I'll end the meeting early and come to the arena if I can get a ride," I reply.

"We'll take care of that," Owen assures her and she smiles. The three of us turn around and walk away from Clare and the others.

"We can't confront her in front of everyone else," I remark when we're far enough away.

"Dude I'm not an idiot," Owen grouses shooting me a look.

"Yeah so how do we get her to the arena?" Luke asks.

"You two really need to have some faith in me, we'll take care of that at lunch," Owen replies.

Obviously he has a plan now we just need a plan if her stepdad really is molesting her.

 **One Shot Month is almost over so the next update for this is not until Thursday, April 7** **th** **. The update will pick up probably from Clare getting to the arena.**


	3. Hold Onto Every Beat of Hope

**May and June calendars have been added to the DeGrassi Saviors website, the mobile calendar will be updated later this week.**

 **I've also added 17 upcoming stories to the list on my profile pages. Yes I was able to plot 17 new stories for us all to look forward to!**

 **This whole chapter ended up being in Clare's pov.**

 **Ch. 3 Hold Onto Every Beat of Hope**

 **(CLARE)**

"Okay I have an interview with the Ice Hounds this afternoon so I think we'll end the meeting a little early today. Everyone has their assignments and I'll need drafts of everything by eight tomorrow morning. So I'll see you guys tomorrow," I say ending the DeGrassi Daily meeting Monday afternoon.

Everyone packs their stuff and leaves the office. I lock up and go out to the front where I'm surprised to see Fitz waiting on the steps.

"Hey Owen said to bring you to the arena," Fitz tells me.

"I guess you're my ride then," I remark.

"Yep," Fitz nods walking me down the street a little bit to his car. "So how's school?" Fitz asks slightly awkwardly. I don't really blame him this is the most time we've spent alone together since he showed up at my house last year. I've seen him at The Dot of course and ordered from him but we weren't alone at The Dot and he was working we didn't exactly make small chat. He did however apologize for showing up at my house that way.

"It's good, I'm editor of the school paper, getting straight A's, school is good."

"I heard your mom got remarried," he comments innocently but even thinking of Asher churns my stomach.

"Yeah I was happy about it at first," I reply.

"But not anymore?"

"He's…he turned out to be a devil in disguise," I comment looking out the window. Fitz doesn't press and we drive the rest of the way in silence. "Thanks for the ride Fitz; Owen arranged this so he can bring me home I'm sure."

"No problem but Owen said to wait with you until he came out and got you for the interview. He was very specific," Fitz tells me.

"Okay I guess I'll wait in your car then," I shrug. Wanting to fill the silence I ask Fitz about work. He talks about work and church and then Owen comes over knocking on the window, it startles us because we were talking.

"You can come in now everyone is decent, thanks for getting her here Fitz," Owen says after opening the car door.

"No problem, I take it you'll get her home safe?"

"Yeah I'll get her home," Owen nods taking my hand and helping me out of the car.

"Thanks Fitz," I smile.

"Later," he says to both of us. Owen and I start walking to the arena and Fitz drives off.

"Owen why is most of the team leaving?" I question as the doors open and a long line of players begin filing out.

"We didn't think you needed to interview everyone, that would have taken too long," Owen replies. Owen escorts me in and takes me into the locker room. The only people in the locker room are Luke and Dallas, Owen closes and locks the locker room door and I get out my notebook. I begin to notate how strong the musk of alpha male is in the locker room when Dallas takes the notebook and pen from me.

"You don't need that," he says and I twist my mouth pinching my eyes together at him. "We brought you here to talk to you. To ask you if your stepfather is molesting you?"

I bite my lip and look down, I start to tremble and sink down on the bench. I begin crying, I can't help it I just start crying and am unable to answer them at the moment. Dallas sits next to me, I feel his arm come around me and I sob on his chest, gripping his shirt while he holds me.

"I think we got our answer, come on Luke let's go kill this guy," Owen comments.

"No you can't, he hasn't done anything I mean he hasn't touched me," I tell them wiping away some of my tears and looking up from Dallas' chest.

"But you burst into tears as soon as we asked you, if he hasn't touched you then why'd you react like that?" Dallas asks.

"Because I'm afraid he's going to," I admit. "Before he and my mom got married he wasn't…he didn't…he was just nice and helped me with my journalism skills and dreams there was nothing inappropriate about how he was with me honestly."

"But that's changed since they got married?" Owen asks.

"Pretty much the minute they got back. At first it seemed a little odd but not necessarily inappropriate. The first thing that really creeped me out was last Monday morning, he gave me a ride to school and we were talking about my relationship with my dad. Just as we pulled up he caressed my cheek with the back of one of his fingers and said a father should be close to his daughter. It was strange but I wrote it off as Asher adjusting and not knowing boundaries yet. However since then it's just gotten worse, his comments are more blatant and he's even said a couple in front of my mom who either didn't hear or ignored it. Last night he told me that the top I was wearing really showed off my breasts and that he thought I dressed that way because I wanted him to touch me. My mom was right there and didn't even react! I hid in my room and snuck out the window as soon as they were in bed."

"No wonder you came over so early and without wearing a coat," Dallas comments and I shoot him a look. "Hey you said not to tell the Torreses you said nothing about my teammates. Anyway Owen knew something was going on when you gave him my jacket and Luke was suspicious because of how you were at church yesterday," Dallas replies.

"It sounds to me like he's being inappropriate and building up to molesting you and we need to tell someone. You still need an article right?" Owen comments more than asks.

"Yeah I did tell everyone I was writing one," I nod.

"Okay can you guys come to my place for dinner? I'll take you home after and I can bring Clare to your place later so she doesn't have to go home at all. We need to figure out what to do," Owen says.

"I don't think there's anything we can do and who are we going to tell?" I protest but they're not paying attention.

"Yeah I can come to dinner," Dallas nods.

"Me too," Luke says.

"Good we'll all take my car and you guys can call your billet families on the way. Clare tell your mom you're sleeping at Alli's or something because I'm not taking you home," Owen asserts and they begin grabbing their stuff to leave the locker room.

"Seeing as how this is my problem shouldn't I decide how this is handled," I grumble crossing my arms.

"No," all three of them shoot back at once.

"You've been sneaking over to my place to sleep there because you don't feel safe at home right?" Dallas questions coming over to me and I nod. "Your stepfather came back from the honeymoon and started changing the nature of his relationship with you. He's not just going to stop Clare, it's going to get worse and running to my house is only going to work for so long," Dallas tells me with a kind tone and sincere eyes and I nod.

"Okay fine but I don't see what we can do about it," I give in as we leave the locker room. Dallas locks up and locks the arena and we all go to Owen's SUV, Luke sits in front and Dallas and I sit in back.

I've never been to Owen's before, never had a reason to be, I'm rather surprised to see his house is bigger than Adam's. I follow the boys inside and I see that we're not the only ones to come to the Milligan house for dinner. Maya, Zig and Tori have also come for dinner, they are sitting with Tristan and it's only at this moment that it clicks for me that Tristan is Owen's brother.

"Mom Dallas, Luke and Clare are staying for dinner," Owen informs his mother. "Guys my mom Alicia, you all know my brother Tris and his friends from school."

"I just ordered pizza for the other kids, I'll call them back and double the order," Mom says.

"We'll be in my room Clare's writing an article on the Ice Hounds for the paper," Owen tells them. He seems to be directing the comment as much to Tristan and his friends as his Mom because by the looks on their faces Tristan and his friends were wondering what I was doing here.

"Alright I'll call you when the pizza gets here," his mom replies and we follow Owen upstairs to his room.

"We should tell Officer Turner, he works at the school and he already knows you," Owen comments.

"What can Officer Turner do? Asher hasn't touched me, his comments are..."

"His comments are sexual harassment, we'll go to Simpson and Turner in the morning and tell them, at least make a report of it. If there's something that they can do Simpson and Turner would know," Owen asserts.

"Owen's right, we'll all go together in the morning as soon as we're at school. We'll get there early," Dallas says and Luke nods.

"Okay," I relent but I'm not sure it's going to do any good. Part of me is hopeful that we'll go talk to Simpson and Turner and Asher will be arrested for sexual harassment for his comments. A larger part knows that's not going to happen and I fear there's nothing they can do. "Can I get my article now?" I request.

I get out my notebook and ask a few questions, I don't have to ask much they talk quite a bit about the team and the sport without any prompting. Owen's mom calls us when the pizza gets here and we eat in the family room with Tristan and his friends. Tori and Tristan do a lot of talking over dinner, I never say anything but Owen, Luke and Dallas talk about hockey and Zig and Maya talk about music a little and talk about Whisper Hug. After dinner Owen has to get Luke and Dallas home, I already sent my mom a text that I was sleeping at Alli and Jenna's tonight. I go with Owen to drop Dallas and Luke off, we drop Luke off first and then Dallas.

"I'll text Owen when everyone else has gone to bed and he'll bring you over. Owen pick everyone up and we'll get to the school very early," Dallas tells me when he gets out of the car.

"I'll need clothes for school tomorrow," I remind them.

"After we meet with Simpson and Turner I'll take you home to get changed," Owen says.

"I'll see you in a couple of hours," Dallas tells me before walking to the house and Owen starts driving back to his house.

"Why didn't you take Clare home?" Tris asks when we get back to Owen's.

"She's hanging out for a while. You want to watch TV or something?" Owen asks.

"I should get to homework and that article," I reply.

"Right homework," Owen groans.

"We're doing homework too you can do it with us, we're all sleeping over," Maya tells me.

"I'm not sleeping over just hanging out until I can go home," I reply but sit down with the younger kids to do my homework.

Owen sits down with me although he doesn't look like he particularly wants to be doing his homework with his brother and his friends. I finish my homework, begin working on my article and correct Owen's math homework which amuses Tris and his friends. I do meet Owen's dad when he gets home, his dad looks tired after a long day but he seems nice and says hello to everyone. He doesn't seem at all surprised that Zig, Tori and Maya are here and I get the impression that they're here a lot. When everyone is done with their homework we watch TV, the younger kids keep glancing at me I'm assuming wondering why I'm here with Owen and not at home but they don't ask. A little after 11:30 Owen gets a text and I look at him.

"Let's go," is all he says so I know it was from Dallas saying we could come over. Owen's parents have already gone to bed and Tris doesn't seem to think it's odd that Owen is leaving so late but I imagine Owen does this quite a bit. We leave his house for his SUV and he takes me to Adam's, he gets out with me and walks me to the basement door which he opens so Dallas left it unlocked.

"We'll see you in the morning," Dallas says to Owen.

"Thanks for driving today Owen and for letting me hang out," I smile.

"No problem, I'll see you guys tomorrow," Owen replies before leaving and Dallas locks the basement door.

"I'm going to watch TV for a bit I don't think I can sleep yet," I tell him as I sit on the sofa. He's already made up the sofa for me to sleep.

"Okay I'm beat so I'm going to bed but if you need anything wake me up," he says.

I tell him thanks and sit on the sofa, Dallas goes back to his room and I turn on the TV. Sleep is elusive this night, I'm full of unease about tomorrow morning and what will happen. I don't sleep at all and when Dallas gets up the next morning he finds me still awake on the sofa. He gives me a concerned look but doesn't say anything, he already told Audra he had an early morning practice and Owen was picking him up. When we're ready we wait outside for Owen who pulls up with Luke a few minutes later and we drive to school. It's very early so very few people are here.

"Hey Mr. Simpson is Officer Turner here we need to talk to you both," Owen enlightens him as the guys sort of burst into his office.

"Paula have Officer Turner come to my office please," Simpson says to the school secretary and motions us into his office. "Alright kids what is it?" Simpson asks as he sits behind his desk. Dallas, Owen and I sit in the three chairs and Luke leans against the wall.

"You needed me?" Officer Turner asks coming into the room.

"These four need to talk to us and they were just about to tell me why," Simpson replies and everyone looks at me.

"My stepdad has made some comments that were…"

"Highly inappropriate," Dallas finishes for me.

"Comments like what Clare?" Turner asks.

Everyone is watching me and having to repeat these comments is rather embarrassing. I was able to tell the guys last night but I was very emotional after being confronted, and I wasn't looking at the guys when I told them what Asher said.

"He's told me that my clothes show off my breasts," I squeak quietly and bite my lip, "and that he thinks I dress the way I do because I want him to touch me."

I didn't realize it but while repeating this I grabbed Dallas' hand. Simpson exchanges a look with Officer Turner, it's a worried look but also one of defeated deficiency.

"We'll bring your parents in to talk with them, you can be present if you want," Simpson tells me and I shake my head.

"If you want you can press formal charges for harassment against your stepfather," Turner tells me.

"What will that do?" I question and aware that I'm holding Dallas' hand now I squeeze it.

"Quite honestly probably nothing, the comments are inappropriate but as your stepfather it's a family matter unless he's molested you or touched you an inappropriate way then that's criminal," Officer Turner informs me.

"He hasn't, he hasn't done anything like that just comments," I reply but feel the breath leaving my body because it feels hopeless.

"As I said we'll bring your parents in and speak with them and if you feel it necessary you can move out, you are old enough," Mr. Simpson comments.

"Okay," I nod slowly but just feel hopeless.

"Is there going to be a record that we reported it?" Owen questions.

"Yes there will be," Simpson nods.

"I don't want to be here when my mom and stepdad come in and I have to get to the DeGrassi Daily office anyway," I reply.

"I'll call your mom now," Simpson nods. I let go of Dallas' hand to stand up and we all leave Simpson's office. "Thanks for going with me but I don't think it's going to do any good," I comment.

"At least there's a record of it and you can keep sleeping at my house," Dallas tells me.

"Do you want me to take you home to change clothes?" Owen asks.

"Yeah guess we'd better do that now," I nod.

It's still fairly early but there are several kids at school now and many of the ones in the yard and the foyer give us a look because I don't usually hang with the Ice Hounds. We all get back in Owen's SUV and I show Owen how to get to my house. I make him drive past it when I see Mom and Asher's cars are both here still. I have Owen park down the street and I go walk to the house.

"I just came home to change for school," I tell them when I walk in, "I didn't want to borrow anything of Alli and Jenna's."

"Clare we just got a call from your principal do you have any idea why he needs to see us immediately?" Mom asks.

"You'll have to talk to Principal Simpson Mom and I have to get ready for school," I reply and run up the stairs to my room. I lock the door and change quickly, I hear Mom and Asher leave and I run over to the washroom to finish getting ready. When I come out of the washroom a figure in the hallway startles me because I wasn't expecting anyone to be home. I gasp a little jumping back but let out a sigh of relief when I realize it's Dallas.

"Sorry didn't mean to scare you but we saw your parents leave," Dallas apologizes.

"It's okay I just wasn't expecting anyone there, how'd you get in anyway?"

"You're not the only one that knows how to pick locks," Dallas grins and it makes me smile. "Come on we'd better get back to school," Dallas says putting his arm around me and we walk downstairs.

I lock the door and see that Owen has pulled into my driveway now. Dallas and I get in the car and Owen drives us back to school. This time I make the boys go in ahead of me so that no one wonders why the four of us came to school together. I start to go in but I can see Simpson's window, it's open a little and my parents are inside. I go over to the window and hide below it as I listen in.

"…I really am just shocked Mr. Simpson I don't know where these accusations are coming from I thought Clare and I had a good relationship," I hear Asher saying and who knows what lies he said before this. I feel my heart sink, I knew telling would do no good.

"So you never made those comments?" I hear Turner asking with a dubious tone.

"He would never do such a thing; he and Clare have a wonderful relationship. He's been mentoring her in journalism, teaching her so much; he's taken her to his office. If he'd ever said anything remotely improper to my daughter I never would have trusted him with her," Mom insists with an adamant tone laced with just a little hurt. My spirit entirely shrivels now, my heart gives up to a sea of hopelessness. Mom was there in the living room when Asher said those things and now I'm the bad guy for reporting Asher.

"Perhaps she's just adjusting, we did have a good relationship but it is different now that I'm her stepfather," Asher proposes and I hit my fist on the ground in frustration.

"I had some troubles with my own stepdaughter when I first married her mom but we have a wonderful relationship now. You understand that we have to take these matters quite seriously?"

"Yes of course," Asher replies.

I hear that they're starting to leave and I run around to the back of school. I sink down shedding a few more tears until I hear my phone. It's Liam asking if I'm sick because I'm not in the newspaper office. I take a deep breath and compose myself go in through the back and to the DeGrassi daily office. I apologize for being late and get to work, looking at the articles from everyone and put the paper together printing out some copies and sending out the digital edition. I keep it together for the paper and make it to class but now that I'm not busy and it's quiet I'm thinking. Thinking about Asher, about what he said, about what happened and wondering what I can do now.

"Clare," the teacher says coming into class and I look up at her, "Mr. Simpson needs to see you."

Dave, Eli and Adam give me a look as I get up to go to Simpson's office. When I come in Officer Turner is still here and Simpson asks me to sit down.

"As usually happens in these situations your stepfather denied everything and your mom backed him up. We want you to know we're on your side Clare but there's nothing we can do right now it's just he said/she said situation and even with proof of comments and only comments there isn't a lot of legal action to be taken. You do still have the option of moving out, here's all the information and forms you'd need if you choose to take that step. You can speak with Miss Suave if you want and my door is always open," Mr. Simpson tells me.

"And this is my home and cell number you can call at any time, if the situation gets worse or even if you're just nervous call me," Officer Turner says giving me his business card.

"Thanks," I nod taking all of it.

"Any questions Clare?" Simpson asks and I shake my head so he tells me I can go back to class.

"What did Simpson want?" Eli whispers when I sit at my desk again.

"What's all that?" Adam questions in a whisper as I put the file and Turner's business card in my backpack.

"Just stuff for the paper," I lie.

When class ends Adam and I walk to physics, Luke is in class and he looks at me briefly but looks away when Adam looks at him.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Adam queries.

"I don't know what you're talking about Adam."

"You got called to Simpson's office, I saw your mom earlier and it doesn't look like you slept so what is it?"

"Things are intense at home," I reply quietly. I'm not sure if this is enough to satisfy Adam but he can't ask any other questions as Mr. Bettankamp begins class.

"Hey Clare the hockey team wanted to buy you lunch for that killer article," Luke says when the bell rings.

"Okay, I'll see you next period Adam," I tell him and walk out with Luke. I'm sure it will just be Owen, Luke, Dallas and I and this has nothing to do with the article. I know I'm right when Luke takes me to The Dot and Fitz tells us that Owen and Dallas are already upstairs with food.

"We heard that Simpson called you to his office so what did he say?" Dallas asks as soon as we enter the otherwise empty club.

"Asher denied everything of course and my mom backed him up. Simpson and Turner said they were on my side but they can't do anything just from my accusations and without proof. They gave me all the information and forms for moving out on my own if I want to take that step and Turner gave me his business card and said to call at any time," I inform them with a dry matter of fact voice because I don't want to have that hopeless feeling again.

"Well you can move out and then he can't do anything," Luke comments.

"Move out to where? I don't have a job and nowhere to live."

"It's still an option though," Owen says.

"And in the meantime you keep sleeping at my house but I'll come get you," Dallas insists and I smile.

"Maybe being called in and confronted by my principal and an officer was enough to scare Asher and he'll stop," I reply trying to sound hopeful.

I hold onto this thought for the rest of the day. I hold onto it with every beat of hope I have through afternoon classes and the newspaper staff meeting. I'm still holding onto it when I get home and when I'm alone for dinner I keep it. After dinner the fact that I've had no sleep hits me and I'm exhausted. I go up to my room and collapse onto my bed falling asleep. Waking sometime later to a pair of lips on mine and for a moment I think they belong to Dallas because he was in my dream but then I realize it's Asher! I wake with a gasp, trying to scramble away but he has me pinned.

"What are you doing get off me," I demand but he doesn't move he just kisses my neck. "GET OFF ME! MOM!" I scream but she doesn't come.

"She won't come and I'm just giving you what you want," Asher says. His words scare me but it's not what he said so much as the way he says it, using a soft almost soothing yet detached voice that's cold yet excited and at the same time he's stroking me hair.

"You're disgusting get off of me," I demand again thrashing as much as I can but he has me pinned down pretty well and I can hardly move.

"Don't fight Clare you know you want this," Asher says pulling my shirt up.

The repulsively vile feeling of his fingers on my skin sends a rush of adrenaline through me as I fear I'm about to be raped. I manage to get my leg up and kick Asher with enough force that it knocks him off of me. And then I run, I don't grab anything, don't stop for anything I just run straight to Adam's and bang on the door to be let in.

 **The update on Thursday, May 5** **th** **will pick up from right about here in Dallas' pov. The next chapter may very well be the last one as well. If it's not the last the following one probably will be.**


	4. As Long As I Have You Near Me

**Last chapter hope you all enjoy it.**

 **Ch. 4 As Long As I Have You Near Me**

 **(DALLAS)**

Drew, Adam and I are playing a video game having completed our homework earlier, we're in the middle of a race when there's suddenly banging on the sliding glass door. It startles us all and Drew pauses the game.

"Shit what the fuck?" Drew demands but I'm sure that it's Clare I hop over the back of the sofa and open the sliding glass door. As soon as it's open Clare jumps into my arms, she clings to me tightly and sobs heavily on my chest. I wrap my arms around her tightly and feel Drew and Adam watching us. "Why is there a girl sobbing in your arms at ten o'clock at night?" Drew asks.

"That sobbing sounds familiar," Adam remarks, "and why does she have no shoes on, her feet are cold a…" Adam pauses, "Clare!"

"Clare?" Drew questions as they both get up.

I let go of Clare enough to close the door and really look at her, she ran without shoes or a coat and she's shivering. I'm certain most of her trembling is because of the cold and not her violent sobbing.

"Guys grab me some blankets," I request. Drew grabs me a blanket and I put it around her.

"Did he touch you?" I ask her and she nods just slightly on my chest. "Hold her, keep her warm, I'll be back," I remark trying to pull Clare way from me but she keeps her grip on my shirt.

"Where are you going?" Clare questions looking up at me. Her eyes are filled with tears and agony.

"I'm going to get Luke and Owen and we're going to kill Asher," I respond through clenched teeth.

"ASHER! Your stepdad touched you?" Adam exclaims with horror in his voice. Clare nods and clings to me again hiding her head in my chest as she sobs more heavily. "When did he…how did…" Adam inquires slowly but doesn't quite finish his question as I'm certain the horrifying images he's sure to have in his mind stop him from asking the questions.

Clare is still shivering and won't let me go so I pick her up and carry her to the sofa. Her feet are especially freezing and blue, I'm worried she might get frostbite. Drew sees it too and grabs a blanket wrapping it just around her feet. Adam grabs the comforter from my bed to put around her but when I try to let go of her she only grips me tighter.

"Don't leave me," she begs in a terrified whisper.

"I'm here I'm not going anywhere," I assure her. I sit down and she turns hiding her face in my chest.

Drew and Adam just look at her in astonishment, not that I can blame them this is a shocking revelation, and a disturbing one. None of us really know what to do right now and Clare is just sobbing against my chest and clinging to me.

"Should I call Owen?" Drew asks slowly after a moment. I'm sure just looking for something to do and some way to comfort Clare.

"Yeah and tell him to bring Luke if he can," I nod.

Clare's tears begin to dry up and when Drew hangs up with Owen she's stopped crying. Even though she's no longer crying she's still got her head buried in my chest. She either wants to hide because of the embarrassment of the situation or because she doesn't want to look any of us in the eye. While we wait for Owen and Luke we sit there silently, Adam is just looking at her with shock and worry. At one point Drew goes upstairs and gets water for everyone. I look over when the sliding glass door opens, Owen and Luke walk in and both look at Clare huddled in my arms.

"What the hell happened?" Owen questions.

"We're not sure she showed up here and she was barefoot with no jacket and just gripped onto Dallas. We didn't even realize it was her at first," Drew tells them.

"Asher touched her," I enlighten them.

"That bastard let's go kill him," Owen snarls.

"What happened Clare?" Adam asks in a gentle voice.

"When did it start?" Drew questions.

"Pretty much the moment they returned from their honeymoon, he made some odd comments, used the back of his finger to caress my cheek. It was a little disturbing but I thought he was just finding his place as my stepfather and not my mom's boyfriend. It got even worse when he was drinking. His comments became more and more blatant and he even started saying them in front of my mom but she didn't do anything. When it started I came here at night because I didn't feel safe sleeping at home. Dallas let me in and I slept on the sofa a…"

"You've been spending the night here all this time and didn't tell me?" Adam questions with a hurt tone.

"I'm sorry Adam I didn't want you to know, I didn't think it meant anything. He never did anything like that while they were dating. I didn't want you or Drew to know I was here or tell your mom."

"Okay so how did you two find out?" Drew inquires.

"Clare and I go to the same church and she was acting weird around her stepfather, I knew something was wrong, just didn't know what," Luke replies.

"I knew something was wrong when she was at school and gave me Dallas' jacket. She asked me to return it to him but not to let you or Adam know that she'd had it."

"Clare what happened tonight?" Adam asks slowly.

"I hadn't slept and I was exhausted so I went to sleep early and woke up to someone kissing me, it was Asher. I screamed at him to get off me, I screamed for my mom but she didn't come. Asher told me I wanted it," she tells us with an agonized voice as her eyes flood with tears again. He was kissing my neck and had me pinned, it was so vile and I felt so dirty. I kicked him and ran here."

"That fucking pedophile asshole, let's go kill him!" Owen growls.

"No," Clare shakes her head.

"NO?!" Adam, Owen, Luke, Drew and I question all at once.

"If you go to my house to hurt Asher my mom is sure to have you arrested and that's not going to help anyone. I'll move out, I'm old enough I'll move out. I have no idea where I'll live or what I'll do for money but I'm not staying in that house."

"Good but you need to tell Turner what happened too," I tell her.

"I'll go in the morning; can I stay here tonight?" She asks me and the Torres brothers.

"Yeah of course you can," I smile and looks at the Torres brothers who both nod.

"Okay we'll go to Turner in the morning and you're moving out. We'll go to Simpson too and if Asher goes near you again we'll kill him," Owen states.

"Is that really all that happened tonight?" Luke asks.

"Yeah that was it, he kissed me and kissed my neck trying to do more but I kicked him and got away."

"Whatever happens don't be alone with Asher again," Luke says.

"I don't ever want to see him again," Clare shakes her head.

"Will you be okay tonight? We could go to the cops tonight it might be enough to arrest Asher," Luke offers.

"No not tonight I don't want to think about it anymore I just want to know that I'm safe and he can't touch me and get a good night's sleep," Clare replies.

"Okay I need to get home anyway, we'll see you tomorrow Clare," Luke comments.

"Good night Clare," Owen says and we wave to them as they leave.

"I'll get you something you can sleep in, I'm sure we have a spare toothbrush too Mom is always buying that sort of thing," Adam comments almost nervously. I suppose just trying to find something to say and someway to be comforting.

They look at Clare another moment and then Drew goes upstairs with Adam leaving me alone with Clare. I bring her onto my lap and she puts her head on my shoulder taking my hand in hers.

"I feel safe with you," she whispers.

"I'm glad, I won't ever let anyone hurt you," I assure her caressing her arm.

Drew and Adam return downstairs after a moment. Drew gives her one of his t-shirts and a pair of sweats to sleep in and Adam gives her a pair of socks.

"We thought my clothes might fit you better with your curves," Drew explains.

"Thanks," Clare smiles and Adam gives her a toothbrush.

"If you need anything let us know. Try to get some sleep," Adam says giving Clare a smile.

"Goodnight Adam, goodnight Drew," she smiles. They say goodnight and when they've gone upstairs with the door closed she looks at me. "I'm still cold," she tells me with a pouting tone.

"You ran here with no coat or shoes I'm not surprised. You want to take a bath?"

"No, I trust you but I don't really want to be naked right now."

"Then why don't you go change in the washroom and you can sleep in my bed. I'll sleep on the sofa tonight," I tell her.

"Okay," she nods and gets up.

She takes the clothes and toothbrush into the washroom and I go into my room taking the sheets from my bed. I put fresh ones on and get another blanket from the closet. By the time I have the bed made she's emerged from the washroom. Drew's sweats are too long and she's rolled the cuffs and his t-shirt looks a little tight around her breasts still.

"I'll be right on the sofa if you need me, you're safe here I promise you," I tell her as I lift the covers and she gets in the bed.

"Thanks," she whispers.

"Goodnight Clare," I reply and turn out the light.

"Dallas?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you hold me please? Just until I fall asleep. It's just I don't want to think about Asher and if I'm lying her alone I'm not sure I'll be able to stop."

I smile, not that she can see me in the dark room, and get on the bed on top of the covers putting an arm around her, "Like this?"

"Yes thank you," she replies and I can hear the smile on her lips. "How come you go by Dallas and not your first name? Michael is such a nice name. I could never understand why Fitz goes by Fitz and not Mark."

"Well I don't know about Fitz but I was always in sports and coaches and other players always call you by last name so it just kind of stuck," I reply.

"I still like Michael better," she comments.

"It's not that I dislike my name it's just that I'm used to everyone calling me by my last name. You can call me Mike if you prefer," I tell her.

"Yes I do," she responds with a yawn.

"Are you warmer now?"

"Everything but my toes," she replies.

"Let me see, maybe I can warm them," I tell her.

I sit up and take the covers from her feet, I pull one of her feet out putting it on my lap but pull the blanket over my lap and her feet. I take Adam's sock from her foot, her toes are still freezing and I rub them with my hands to get the circulation back and warm them up. When her toes are finally feeling warmer I put the sock back on and do the same to her other foot.

"Better?" I ask her covering her feet again.

"Much thank you," she yawns.

I lie next to her again and when her breathing is soft and regular I know she's asleep. I get off the bed, make sure she's covered and go out to the living room. I grab the blankets she usually sleeps with and the pillow and lie on the sofa but I can't sleep. I picture what Clare told us, waking up to Asher kissing her and trying to get away as he kissed her neck. How scared she must have been and how much worse it could have gotten for her had she not been able to get away.

I do eventually fall asleep but wake up when I hear light crying from my room. I get out of bed and pull back my curtain, she's not sobbing hard like she was when she ran here tonight but her light sobbing sounds frightened.

"It's okay your safe," I tell her sitting on the bed and holding her again.

"It was just a bad dream I'm okay," she says but leans into me.

"About Asher?"

"Yeah sort of, it was kind of jumbled. Asher was kissing me and trying to rape me. Then I saw images of my sister after she tried to commit suicide because she was raped. It was just a lot of scary images."

"You're safe now and Asher won't touch you I won't let him," I tell her and she nods.

"Will you stay with me, hold me again please?"

"Yeah I'll get my blanket," I reply. I get up getting the blanket from the sofa and return to the bed. Once I'm holding her, even though I'm sleeping on top of her blankets, we both fall asleep easily and she sleeps through the night.

 **(CLARE)**

I wake up to the sounds of Mike's deep and rhythmic breathing, his arm still draped over me is heavy but comforting. I try to slip out of his arm without waking him but it doesn't work.

"Are you okay?" He questions in a groggy voice as his eyes open.

"I just have to use the washroom," I reply. He takes his arm from me and I get up, I use the washroom changing back into my clothes but leaving Adam's socks on. "I need to go home and get dressed for school, and pack a bag for a couple of nights. I can probably stay at Alli and Jenna's until I figure something else out," I tell Mike when I go back to his room.

"You're not going alone. Here put this on it's cold outside," he tells me handing me his Ice Hounds jacket, "stay right there I'll get a pair of Adam's shoes, I'm sure he won't mind you borrowing a pair for the morning."

I put on his jacket and he goes upstairs. He returns with a pair of Adam's shoes and I sit on the bed to put them on. Mike gets some clothes and goes into the washroom to get dressed.

"How are we going to get to my house you can't take the car without them noticing," I remark when he comes out of the washroom.

"I'll call Owen," Mike shrugs and grabs his phone.

He calls Owen and tells him I need to go home to change for school and pack a bag. Owen says he'll be here in ten minutes. I wait in Dallas' room in case Audra or Omar come downstairs I'll be out of sight. I don't really want to explain why I spent the night to the Torres parents. Owen sends a text to Mike when he's here and we go through the basement door to Owen's car.

"That's my mom's car, Asher's car is gone already. I can meet you both at school," I tell them.

"Not a chance we're waiting right here and if you're not out in twenty minutes we're coming in after you," Owen replies and Mike nods.

I get out of Owen's car and go to the front door. I ran out without anything last night but we keep a spare key and I get it from its hiding spot. I unlock the door putting the spare in the dish by the door. Mom isn't in the living room she must be getting ready for work. I go upstairs to my room and lock the door, changing into clean clothes and putting Adam's socks and shoes in my backpack so I can take them back to him. I leave my room for the washroom to finish getting ready and then downstairs and into the garage to get a duffle bag and then I return upstairs. Just before I go into my room the door to my parent's bedroom opens and I'm horrified to see Asher in the doorway and not my mom.

"Where's my mom? Where's your car?" I ask and my voice trembles. Just the sight of him brings back last night and I feel ill, even the way he looks at me brings back the feeling of his lips on mine last night.

"My car had to go to the shop, your mom took it in and I'm borrowing hers for the day. Where did you go last night?"

"None of your damn business," I hiss and try to dart into my room but he runs over and grabs my arm slamming me against the doorframe. "STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

"You are mine," Asher whispers in this lecherously carnal tone. The way you'd expect a lover to whisper to you in bed but he's not a lover he's my stepfather.

This terrible scene almost doesn't seem real. I feel his lips on my skin, my heart beating through my chest, the sickening feeling in my stomach. When his hand grips my blouse and rips it open I scream, as loud as I can. I try to kick him but he's leaning over me I can't reach. I reach up scratching at his face trying to get away but he only laughs grabbing my hand and the next thing I know I'm on the floor. I'm sobbing and terrified, envisioning myself getting raped while Owen and Mike are outside in Owen's car. I've only been in here maybe ten minutes; I'm sure ten minutes is enough time for Asher to rape me. When Asher's hand slides under the waistband of my jeans I summon all the air and strength in my body to scream and fight again.

"GET OFF ME!" I shriek thrashing and trying to scratch and kick him.

When I hear the front door being thrown open I know Owen and Mike heard me. They come running up the stairs and Asher looks up with a growl, or maybe they just knew, it doesn't matter they're going to save me. No sooner has he lifted his head to look at who's coming than he gets kicked in the head by Owen. Asher is knocked back a little and goes unconscious falling onto me. I scream again, I think I'm hysterical at this point but given what happened I think I have a right to be. Owen and Mike get Asher off of me and Owen drops him to the floor again. Mike picks me up and holds me tightly, I grip his shirt and break down, wailing into his chest. His heart is beating fast too; he's still rushed with adrenaline but being in his arms I feel very safe now. I'm still shaking and sobbing because of what happened but I feel safe.

"Call the cops," Mike says to Owen and he gets his phone out calling 911. "Are you okay?" Mike asks and I shake my head. "We should have come in with you," Mike sighs.

"We thought he was gone, he had my mom take his car," I reply between sobs.

"The cops are on their way with an ambulance," Owen tells us after a minute.

"I don't want to be here, what if Asher wakes up?"

"Don't worry if I so much as see his eyes flutter I'll kick him in the head again," Owen replies.

"We should go downstairs anyway to wait for the cops. Is there any other way out of here?" Mike asks me.

"Not from up here," I reply.

"I'll stay here to keep an eye on Asher," Owen tells us.

"Let's go downstairs, the cops should be here any minute," Mike says to me.

"I can't stop shaking," I comment as I try to walk.

Mike scoops me into his arms with a grin, "I got you."

I smile linking my arms around his neck and he carries me downstairs. We're only sitting on the sofa for a moment when Officer Turner comes in with two other officers. And then paramedics come in, Asher is taken by stretcher to the ambulance.

"Don't worry we'll arrest him and one of my officer's is going with him to the hospital. I'll need statements from each of you and Clare you'll need to be checked out at the hospital as well," Officer Turner tells me.

"Should she go now?" Mike questions.

"Yes I think that would be best. I don't think she's in any shape to give a statement right now anyhow," Officer Turner replies.

"Here take my car, I'll go with Turner to give my statement and meet up with you later," Owen says handing Mike his keys.

"Thanks," Mike smiles and looks at me, "Can you walk?"

"I think so, I'm not shaking quite so much," I reply and stand up.

"Hang on. Owen," Mike says handing me to Owen who puts an arm around me. Mike runs upstairs and returns with his Ice Hounds jacket which he gives to me again.

Turner called ahead to the hospital so they're expecting us when we arrive. A nurse takes me to a bed with a curtain she can close, she takes my vitals and then she does an exam which means undressing so she can look for injuries. I have red hand marks on my arms from Asher grabbing me. I also have red marks on my back from hitting the doorframe and floor. I have scratches on my chest from Asher ripping open my blouse. Those are the only physical injuries and the nurse photographs them all. When she's done I get dressed again and go out to Mike, he's been waiting just outside the curtain this whole time.

"Are you ready to go to the station?" Mike asks and I nod.

"Yes I want him arrested and sent away. Part of me hopes Owen kicked him so hard Asher will never wake up. You don't think Owen will get arrested do you?"

"No way he did it to save you," Mike replies.

Owen's still at the police station when we get there so Mike gives him back his keys. I go with Turner to make an official statement and press as many charges as I possibly can against Asher. When I'm done Mike goes to give his statement and I wait for him in the lobby. One of the female officers brought coffee and pastries for us so I sit down to eat something. Now that I'm sure Asher is going to be arrested and I've filed for a restraining order I do feel a bit hungry. I'm almost done when Owen comes back in.

"I thought you went to school?"

"Who can go to school after that? I went to see my girlfriend Paige," Owen tells me. I've only seen Paige a couple of times but I know she went to DeGrassi around the same time as Darcy. "Paige has her own place and it has an extra room. She says you can stay there rent free for as long as you need. As long as you can put up with me being over all time," Owen says and I laugh.

"Pretty sure I can handle that. Tell Paige thanks it's very sweet of her and it sounds great."

"When Dallas is done I can take you to your house so you can pack up some things. This time we're coming in with you, even if Asher is still in the hospital," Owen asserts just as Mike comes out from the back.

I tell him about moving into Paige's place and he likes this idea. The three of us get back in Owen's car and back to my house. I hesitate going inside but this time Owen and Mike come in with me and help me pack a couple of bags. Then Owen takes me to Paige's apartment to which he has a key.

"So this is it, you take my key and Paige will make me another one. Obviously this is the kitchen/living room area and this here will be your washroom," Owen says turning on the light so I can see the washroom. "Paige has her own and this will be your room," Owen tells me opening the door and we go in.

"This will be great," I grin looking around the room.

I start to unpack but by this time word has spread about what happened and Audra calls Mike in a panic. She wants us all to come back to the house. I spend the rest of the day filling out the paperwork to move out on my own and getting it filed. My mother calls but I refuse to talk to her. Adam and Drew have been at school but I'm still at their house when they get home with Bianca. Everyone hears what happened this morning and about me moving in with Paige. Officer Turner calls to tell me that Asher will live but Owen gave him a severe concussion and so Asher will be in the hospital a few days. He's been arrested and formerly charged and will be under police guard while he's in the hospital. We stay at the Torres house for dinner and after dinner Owen says he'll take me to Paige's place.

"We'll see you tomorrow," Adam says hugging me before I leave.

"I'll call you later," Mike tells me walking me out to Owen's car.

"Thanks for everything," I smile kissing his cheek.

I get in Owen's car and he drives me back to Paige's place, he comes upstairs with me and Paige is home now. She welcomes me to her home with a hug.

"Thanks for letting me stay here."

"Owen told me about your stepdad. I know your sister was raped and I was date raped when I was younger. So I can relate a little to what you must be feeling. You'll be safe here the building is secure and Owen is over constantly. You're welcome to have Dallas, or anyone else you'd like to have over any time. You can decorate your room and washroom anyway you like."

Paige shows me around the kitchen and then shows me around the building which includes a gym and a pool. Paige is really nice and I already feel like she's a big sister figure. Owen is sleeping here tonight which makes me feel safer even though Asher is still in the hospital. I thank Owen and Paige for everything and say goodnight before they go into Paige's room. I start to get ready for bed and Mike calls, I talk to him while getting ready for bed and then fall asleep while on the phone with him.

 **(DALLAS)**

Drew, Adam, Bianca and I take the elevator to the fourth floor of the apartment building and they follow me to Paige and Clare's apartment. Adam has been here before of course but Drew and Bianca haven't. Clare's been living here over two weeks now and today is her birthday, it conveniently landed on a Saturday this year and she's having a party at the apartment.

"Happy Birthday Beautiful," I grin kissing her after Owen has let us into the apartment. I asked her to be my girlfriend last week after we found out Asher plead guilty to avoid the media and he's been sentenced to fifteen years. Clare's mother lost it and tried to blame Clare, she showed up at the school and was ranting about how Clare ruined her marriage. So now Clare has a restraining order against her mother as well.

"Thanks," Clare smiles taking her present from me when I finally release her lips from the kiss.

Drew, Adam and Bianca wish her Happy Birthday and give her their presents which she puts on the table. Alli, Jenna, Eli, Dave, Connor, Fitz, Luke and Liam are also here, and obviously Owen and Paige. We talk and eat, there's music going and Clare opens her presents. Since that terrible morning she was attacked she's been a lot happier, and even happier since we've been together. It's nice to see her so happy. She's become very close to Paige since moving in and she's also become good friends with both Owen and Luke.

"Enjoying your birthday?" I ask Clare while we're eating her birthday cake.

"Yes I am it's been nice, everything but my mother calling earlier. I'm not ready to talk to her yet, even if she wants to make amends. Owen answered for me and he told her as much in much harsher language than I would have used. The rest of my birthday has been wonderful and thank you for the necklace it's really beautiful," she grins giving me a gentle kiss. I gave her a necklace for her birthday, a heart with our initials.

"You're welcome," I smile taking her lips again.

"Hey love birds," Owen calls throwing a crumpled piece of wrapping paper at me. "We're talking about what do for March break. We're thinking about renting a beach house somewhere fairly close yet out of the way. A week of sun and sand and sex on the beach," Owen grins and Paige smacks Owen in the back of the head.

"That sounds great," Clare grins and I cock an eyebrow at her, "the sun and sand part, don't get any ideas."

"How many are going?" I question.

"The four of us, Drew and Bianca, Adam and Jenna, Alli and Dave, Luke and Fitz so far," Owen replies.

"Sounds great let's find a big house with a private beach and lots of romantic spots," I grin smiling at Clare and she bites her lip.

I lean forward and take her lips for a gentle kiss.

 **That's it for this short story. I hope you enjoyed it. Replacing this will be Why the Two of Us Should Never Touch.**


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